


Gripped and pulled

by TheDeadAreWalking



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 14:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4567614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeadAreWalking/pseuds/TheDeadAreWalking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is lost in himself. Life is shit and so is he.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gripped and pulled

**Author's Note:**

> idk

Dean never once gave a thought to Heaven. No, that's a lie, he thought about it and he hated it. God was a lie, he wasn't real and if he was he should go to hell himself because of all the living things he didn't seemed to give a shit about and he wasn't the sort of man Dean cared to meet anytime soon. But then he went to hell, forty years in hell was a long time. After 10 years he started to beg God for help, begged to be saved but still refused to do the torture himself. That too changed in a few years. But then we has gripped right and raised from perdition and everything changed. 

"I'm an Angel of The Lord."

Castiel took hold of the Hunter's arm and dragged him kicking and screaming from perdition. He told him there was a God and a Heaven and Dean wondered if maybe Heaven would be as grand as they say it is. Wonders if maybe it would be simpler to die and go to this place that Castiel promised was real. Every time though Dean thinks like this he's stopped. Every time Dean looks at a gun and raises it a bit he stopped. It's a flutter of wings and a gentle hand on his shoulder that stops him. 

"Dean, no," comes a whisper behind him.

"But, Cas," he pleads.

"We have work, Dean."

But then his work is done. God isn't real. Dean was right. He didn't care. It's months later. He's found Sam again and he's having bad day and he looks at the gun on counter. He swears he feels a hand on his shoulder but that's impossible. Cas is gone. But then he's not. He's alive just been gone. Just like Sam, this isn't Sam. 

Again Dean eyes a gun. Cas doesn't come around anymore. He's on a mission, he could do it now and no one could stop him. But then Sam comes in and its too late. Dean feels heavy.

Cas goes behind his back.

Cas is god.

Sam is broke. 

Leviathan.

Things flash by too fast one thing though he picks up on.

Cas is dead. Bobby is dead.

Dean doesn't cry. He's not alive anymore

Cas is alive.

Dean feels himself start breathing.

Cas doesn't remember him. Cas.

Cas is insane.

Time stops holding meaning. He cant remember what comes first and what doesn't. Who's alive? Who's dead?

Purgatory.

Benny.

Cas is back.

Cas left him.

He leaves Cas.

Cas is back.

Cas isn't Cas.

The fist makes contact. He's bleeding. Why? Who is he anymore? Maybe he deserves this? Another punch. Cas is going to kill him. Words are falling from his mouth. Pleads. He's a robot. He isn't even aware of life anymore. Then he wakes up, "I need you." 

He's alive. 

Cas...please...

**Author's Note:**

> IDK


End file.
